The research I do looks at the experiences and stories of people who experience organizational exit. My research partner and I want to understand why people feel “pushed” to leave their jobs and careers. Nearly every experience in our research involves some form of betrayal. What is most interesting in our analysis is trust in the workplace is just as personal and valued as trust is in personal relationships. The hurt we experience by betrayal in the workplace is just as strong as if it was your partner, a parent, or a friend. Trust is personal, and it is why our leaders (and colleagues for that matter) need to make time for that “shit.”
Today I am in New York City with one of my best friends. We decided to get away and enjoy a weekend of fun together. We’ve known each other for over 30 years, and to our surprise, this is the first time we’ve traveled together. It’s been an absolute blast so far. Clare and I trust each other immensely. Yes, we’ve had 30 years to work on the strength of that trust. The strength of our trust is also due to a compassion and kindness we have for each other. It isn’t just about our friendship, it is a realization we share that both of us are human beings. Humans with feelings, emotions, memories, and journey’s that we are following. Our trust is strong not because we haven’t messed up, but because we constantly remind ourselves that compassion and kindness are essential. We work hard to minimize judgment and ridicule. It’s a process that we take seriously and put our time and commitment into always being sure that each of us can trust each other’s words, actions, and decisions.
Some will respond, “This isn’t the same as the trust leaders need to build.” I will argue, “Yes it IS!” Leaders lead humans. Leaders build relationships. Relationships need trust. Trust takes time and commitment. I am not here to tell leaders that getting the job done, serving the customer, making money, etc. is not important; I know it is a very important part of the job. However, a big part of the job of leading (and being members of an organization) is relationships, trust. We must remember the human side of leadership.
Relationships whether personal or professional must be able to rely on the words, actions, and decisions of others if they are to be strong and grow and expand. It doesn’t mean we won’t mess up (and forgiveness is a whole other topic later in the series). It means we are human. What I hope we remember is humans make mistakes. Let’s bring back the compassion to heal and grow trust. Let’s continue to have the conversation about all aspects of trust, the dark and the light. Let’s consistently reflect on our words, actions, and decisions so we can grow and help others.
Trust can be repaired. Healing can take place. Strengthening and growth of trust can happen…only if we realize how personal trust is for everyone. It is crucial that we understand the time and commitment it takes to earn the trust of others. We know how important this is to our personal relationships. Why in the world have we forgotten this in our professional relationships? Where has our time and commitment gone in building trust? All of us all need to take a step back and realize how important trust is to the success of everything we do.
What will you do this week to reflect on your own process(es) of healing, strengthening, and growing trust? How can you weave kindness and compassion into your leadership role? I’d love to hear from you. Oh, and FYI, the Italian at Frankie and Johnnie’s on West 37th is totally worth the shit!