I am pretty sure most consultants, leaders, and pretty much everyone on the planet will agree with me that the number one complaint in any organization is “Communication sucks.” I find it a comical phrase because it encompasses such a vast array of complaints. Transparency, not enough, too much, only shared with a few, overshared, and the list goes on. I shouldn’t laugh because I do know how very important communication issues are for organizations. Leaders struggle so much with the what, when, how, and how often to share information and messages with their stakeholders. It’s not easy; I’ve screwed this up more than I care to admit.
The thing is, communication is one of the key elements of building trust. Communication is conveying a message or meaning to whomever the message or meaning is intended. How does communication become a key element of trust? Ooof, the ways are many. Who, what, where, when, why, and how?!
I want to specifically address the “how” because this gets at the heart of emotions in the workplace when building trust. How a message or meaning is sent can ensure great success or horrendous pain, and everything in between. Years ago, Radio Shack was in an economic slide, and layoffs were imminent. Over 400 layoff notices were sent vie e-mail to team members. TEAM MEMBERS. People who are engaged and creating value in an organization were told they no longer had a job via e-mail. Disheartening. Recently, I was working with a client who was moving into a new position within his organization. The process was taking a great deal of time, and he was only being communicated with via e-mail. Short bursts of information without any context or ability to ask questions. He has since turned the position down because he did not feel valued by the organization and how they handled what should have been a positive promotion and opportunity for personal and professional growth. Discouraging and disrespectful. Personally, in our lives, we choose modes of communication that create huge opportunities for misunderstanding. I truly believe this is based in fear of the response that might be received, but either way, those misunderstandings can hurt. Hurtful.
Why does the “how” matter? Because the goal of good communication is to ensure the receiver of the message or meaning actually understands what you meant. If that message is not received as intended, the risk of a betrayal of trust is absolute. Simple misunderstandings can turn into hurt and betrayal quickly if we are not paying attention to the “how” in our communication.
I’ve done this myself. Shot off e-mails or even made quick calls and left voicemails thinking I had been clear in my message or meaning and absolutely was not. I’ve hurt others unintentionally, but hurt them none the less. That kills me. We are flying Mach 10 at work these days, buried in projects, taking on too much, and not paying attention to those who work around us. We send messages and meaning in a thousand ways assuming we’ve been clear. We don’t follow up and worse, we don’t provide a space where people can ask questions or ask for feedback and clarity. Then, we can’t understand the hurt that others feel. And, the crucible momentum begins.
A note to the receivers or listeners: we need to remember that all messages coming in can have missing meaning. They can seem hard, dismissive, strange, or just hurtful. ASK. Have the courage to ask a question and ask for clarity. Even when you are afraid, ASK. As my mentor always tells me, people don’t intend to be assholes. It just happens! Listeners need to slow down and hear the message from the sender’s perspective too. GOOD communication is a two-way street.
We have such HUGE opportunities to lift others, support others, make them feel amazing, and feel valued and heard in HOW we communicate with them. There is a joy in seeing “ah ha” moments through different methods of communicating. There is even more joy and pleasure in making people feel valued through our communication with them. Take some time as you walk through your day today and think about how you are communicating with others, personally and professionally. You might find some incredible ways to lift others up and build trust. The joy you create might be yours too!
How are you communicating with others? What ways do you like to receive communication? Let’s discuss!
Radio Shack Layoffs: https://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/31/business/31radio.html,