Why is it so hard to talk about the tough stuff in our organizations? Why is it that I see leaders constantly painting a rainbow picture of their leadership and organizations when it’s more like a toxic waste dump? Why is it that we don’t create spaces where people can speak up and talk about how to make anything and everything BETTER? I’ve said this before and will keep repeating it, ignoring the elephants in the room will only erode trust in your organizations and eventually create a toxic culture that will eat at any and all success you have created.
Folks, I get how hard it is to have uncomfortable conversations. It takes a boatload of vulnerability to confront and improve what isn’t working. People can react in ways you wouldn’t expect, sometimes not so positively. Change is tough for folks, but usually because we do a terrible job of explaining why a change is necessary and great (hmmm, we need to talk about this one more in a future writing). But here’s the deal, the more we have these conversations, the more we talk about the elephants in the room, the better organizations we become. The better we get at these conversations, the more trust we build. The better we get at these conversations, the better the culture becomes. The better we get at these conversations, the more we become the place where people say, “I love my job. I love where I work.”
This isn’t about focusing on the negative. It is about having an honest conversation about what needs to be better. It could be low performance, poor procedures, letting go of a project that just isn’t working, addressing economic changes and external factors that affect us, and the list goes on. Talking about the elephants in the room is not about scaring the crap out of your team either (please don’t do that, you work with humans, they have feelings, feelings count). This conversation is about optimism. It’s about saying, “Hey, this is not working. How can WE fix this?”
I work with a group of senior leaders who are some of the most progressive, forward-thinking, learning leaders I’ve been around in a long time. These folks rock! They come together and talk about making their organizations better, even more so than they are at the moment. They talk the issues, but also take the time to laugh at the goof ups and elephants. We’ve been talking a lot about the issue of recruitment and retention: once we get them on board, how can we get them to stay? One organization has implemented the position of an Engagement Manager. “Oooo, what is that?” It’s phenomenal, really. This person’s sole task is to engage everyone in the organization and let them vent about what’s not working. This isn’t just a bitch session (although I would argue that those are important as well from time to time, we are human). This is a chance for people to speak about their frustrations, advocate for change, and have a say in the operations of the organization in a trusted space. There is no retaliation here. The Engagement Manager then takes on the task of working with each individual and the organization to create change, positively and within all the limits an organization has (because let’s be realistic, not every suggestion can be implemented, at least right now). This approach has been hugely successful. I am positive it is that the elephant is getting addressed, but more importantly, the people are treated with kindness and compassion. It’s awesome, honestly.
Stop, please stop, ignoring the elephants in your organization. Find ways to reach out and figure out what your team has to say about making the organization better. You’d be so surprised, and pleasantly, at what you’ll find when you do. You’ll also find that the trust you build with your team by talking about the elephants will give you the best return on investment you can find.
Do share what you do to address the elephants in the room. What would you like to see more of to talk about the elephants? I’d love to hear!